I think it’s time I tell you my experience when it comes to long distance relationships and relationships in general. My friends know the story of David and me by now, so if you’re one of them you can skip the next paragraph (unless you wanna read about it again. Then keep reading).
I used to have many pen-friends back in junior high and my dear friend Emma was one of them. I asked her to give me an e-mail address of a any friend so I could practice my English. She gave me Dave’s. That was back in 2004.
We started by chatting on MSN and sent each other letters. I was doing the same with Emma but very soon I realized that it was something really special with Dave. We connected so well, I was able to tell him everything and he became that invisible, unreachable best friend of mine. I’d get all excited when I saw that he was online, or when I’d received a letter or an SMS. The only painful thing was, that we were never able to meet in person and sometimes I even doubted his existence 🙂 That went on for 5 years.
One night, we were talking on MSN… for 9h straight. At some point I had to go to my lectures at the university so I had to leave. I think that was a point when I realized that we had to meet sometime soon. We just mentioned (just mentioned) it to our best friends Martina and Robin. Theeeey went crazy about the idea and started planning and organizing everything. It was good because Dave and I both got cold feet and wouldn’t have done a thing about it in the end.
In August 2009 Dave and Robin came to Switzerland to stay for 10 days. I cannot describe that feeling at the airport, waiting for your soul mate to come out through the door. Yet, you’ve never seen him in real life. Does that sound strange? I was a wreck weeks and especially the days before the final meeting. Poor Martina, I wasn’t very nice to her then. Sorry honey <3
Back to my heart that was beating so fast that I thought I’d faint. Waiting… and waiting… How should I say hi? Hug? One kiss on the cheek? 3 kisses? Hi5 dude? A real kiss? I just wanted to get it over with. That awful moment of saying hi to each other with 5 octaves higher and uncontrolled voices.
The final moment arrived and they came out. Dave walked to me and without saying a word he kissed me. The real kind of kiss!
The rest is history…
|David & I through our 5 years of relationship|
LDRs (long distance relationships) aren’t for everyone and they are hard. But as you can see, it’s doable. The question is, how do you make it work? It takes a lot of communication, patience and understanding in first place. People were asking me: “How do you trust him?” “How do you do it?” “How can you stay faithful?” “Is it hard?”
Let me tell you one thing. Trust is inevitable in any relationship, not only in an LDR. People are sometimes married, share the bed and yet, manage to cheat on each other. There is really no difference with trust in an LDR. Today’s society is fucking spoiled and cheating became somewhat of a “trend”. Not only once did I overhear girls proudly talking about how they cheated on their boyfriends. WTF? This is something I’ll never understand – I simply have no respect for cheaters. How can you ever hurt a person that you love or used to love?
|WizzAir…. the one thing that made our relationship easier 🙂|
It’s important to meet as much as possible, to keep the spirit going. So yes, before you start an LDR, you have to be aware that it will be an expensive investment. I knew that if I don’t give it a try with the one soul mate I found, then I’d regret it for the rest of my life.
In the beginning, we were only meeting every 3 months. Later on it was every 6-8 weeks. Every time after we met, I was already looking for the next opportunity and trying to plan. That’s really a thing that keeps you motivated. Then you count days again.
|My Valentine’s Day gift a few years ago…gotta be creative:P|
Communication is probably the most important thing – because that’s all you have. I don’t know how many hours and days we’ve spent on Skype, Viber and Whatsapp. David and I always knew what the other one was doing, how we were doing… We even had “Skype Dates” where we’d cook the same meal and eat it together or pick the same movie and play it at the same time. Sounds pathetic but that’s how we did it.
When you have a fight, you can’t just make up by cuddling…so you talk, and talk and talk.
I think an LDR provides a relationship with a very very strong base for the future. You get to know each other to the core.
Last but not least you have to have some kind of goal together. David and I didn’t have a goal right in the beginning, but as the time passed we knew that we wanted to live together. In August 2013 I moved to Sweden and put the long distance to an end.
|Our dear friend Emma, thank you for bringing David into my life!|
|Thanks to Robin & Martina we finally met in summer 2009|
Thank you baby for sticking all this time with me. It wasn’t easy but we made it.
You are my soul mate, I love you.
Always & Forever